Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
