I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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