I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
