She's JV to your varsity
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
