Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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