I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize