The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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