what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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