My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
