I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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