Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
