I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
