Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
