Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize