but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
