So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
