It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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