i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
