I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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