I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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