I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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