why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
