You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
