Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize