so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
