fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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