After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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