I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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