the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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