I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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