she smelled like a LAN party
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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