Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
