i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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