We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
