dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
