Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
