I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My bed smells like the plague
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
