Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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