That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
