I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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