We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's shark week go big or go home
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
