Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
