before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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