U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize