we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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