Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
