if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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