Will you blow on my dice?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
well you can't waste a boner
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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