It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize