talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Terrible idea I love it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
