we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
