you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
