i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My bed smells like the plague
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