She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
