normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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