Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
