I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
