My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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