Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
