dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
