White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
