the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
